Friday, August 2, 2013

In which John Ashton Smith solves one mystery, if not another....

"Dear Dr. Armitage,

We have solved the mystery of Dr. West, but I regret to inform you that we have not yet found Richard Morris.

Here is what I do know:

Today I returned alone to the lot we investigated yesterday. Although Miss Caroline implored me to take her along, I bade her remain at the house, hoping she would be safe.

In hindsight, it was a mistake to investigate alone. As I entered the woods. I was struck from behind and knocked unconscious.

When I revived....

"You're John Ashton Smith, the famous paranormalist? You're just a little pipsqueak."

"Who are you?" I demanded, trying to sit up.

"You may call me Dr. West. And you're just in time to witness my triumph," he sneered. "I have found a way to revive the dead through the bodies of that idiot Bishop woman's castoffs. And she really believed I was running an orphanage!" He snorted. "The only hing stupider than a woman is a little pipsqueak Brit doll, apparently...."

"Are you insane?" I demanded.

He didn't reply to that; just reached for an all-too-familiar silver box...

"What are you doing?! You're going to get us all killed!" I knew he wasn't about to listen to the voice of reason, but I felt I had to point put the obvious anyway.

"With the power of the great Yog-Sothoth..." he started.


I was never so grateful to have someone not listen to me in my entire life. Dr. West wasn't expecting to be struck down from above. 

"Don't even think of moving," she cautioned.

"No..." He tried to get to his feet, but his left arm had been knocked from its socket in the fall. One of the perils of being molded plastic, as I understand. Nevertheless, he was able to reach the silver box and knock it to the floor, spilling its contents and exposing...

"That's not the bloody Shining Trapezoidhedron!" I was so stunned that I forgot to mind my language around the lovely Miss Caroline.

"Wh-what?" Dr. West moaned.

I looked at him. "It's a crystal wing talisman from the lost city of Ydmos. It's a protective charm that will render worthless any of your reanimating spells."

He stared at me, unbelieving. "Y-you..."

"I think we know who the idiot is here," Miss Caroline said, then called the not-so-good Doctor by a term which, although highly appropriate, I shall not repeat here.

"Tell your girlfriend there to shut up or I'll smack her one in her fat mouth," Dr. West sneered.

"If you even try it, I'll dislocate your other arm, you..." I won't repeat the name I proceeded to call him, but be assured it was also highly appropriate. 

I am pleased to report that Dr. West has been turned over to the appropriate authorities. As for me, I shall remain here to continue my investigation into Richard Morris' disappearance..."

"So, this isn't bad after all?" I was looking at the wing thing that John had brought back with us.

"No. If anything, it's a talisman against evil," he said. "However, being that it set of the aether detector, I couldn't take any chances."

He looked at me. "Wait. It's "Hitty Time?" What does that mean?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, It sounded gangsta." I had to say it. "He called me your girlfriend."

John looked down for a moment, then back at me. "Well, even idiots have to be right sometimes, I guess. I mean, if you..."

Sometimes, it's just better to cut to the kiss....

1 comment:

  1. AWW! Yaaay!!!! I'm so happy you're a girlfriend, Caroline! And I'm so glad it all worked out. What a dope. John is SO lucky you had his back. You rock!